all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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