My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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