His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
