I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
