Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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