Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm getting married
To pizza
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize