Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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