I can text with my tongue
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
