just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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