What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
