Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
