problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
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a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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