At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
