i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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