Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
tonight lets celebrate not being married
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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