I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
