The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Sext me about skeletons
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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