i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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