Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
