I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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