Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
