I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize
