Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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