i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
My liver just had a heart attack.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
