Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize