Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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