i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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