I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i was born a porn star she said
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Randomize
