The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize