i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
