Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
His nipple licking is glorious
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
