i think my tv is drunk
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize