those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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