i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
