i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize