Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
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you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
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The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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