it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
