you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
