MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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