you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
