I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
they need to just BURY HIM!
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
