so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
