You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
