Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I believe in your delicious
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
