Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
