At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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