one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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