so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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