my soul wont recognize me after tonight
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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