but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
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