All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
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