My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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