I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
