end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
