Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
