I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
