I wannas sexs uuuuu
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
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