Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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