Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Terrible idea I love it
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
