I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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