You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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