It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
