She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
