she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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